Leak on nuclear sub, MoD gets sinking feeling

Top secret information on Britain’s nuclear forces is something that we’d all like to believe are, well, secure. Seems that some of the important controller types at the MoD have missed a few of the ‘Microsoft Word for Beginners’ course on offer – with serious results. KitGuru slips past Checkpoint Charlie to investigate.

It has been revealed today that the UK government has managed to expose even more of their defence secrets to anyone with a computer and the ability to copy and paste a word document.

A report containing secret information about the country’s nuclear-powered submarines was published on a public domain website, giving access to anyone who wanted it.

How had the modern-day James Bond types decided to secure the vital info?  Simple, they highlighted the important parts and then set the background colour to black.

Wow.

Powerful encryption indeed.

How will Al Queida ever crack this code?

Ah yes, now we remember. You simply copy and paste into another document and, “Hey Bin Laden”, all is revealed.

Using a specially prepared program of excuse generators, the MoD has filled the airwaves with expressions like “Accidental”, “technical error”, “inadvertently”. All good words you like to hear from the people who control the guns and missiles. Makes us feel nice and safe.

The report was an assessment of nuclear safety aimed at determining options for the reactors in future submarines to replace the Trident fleet. And according to the report they are “potentially vulerable” to fatal accidents (there’s that word again!). Just to make matters worse, there is some hearsay of US protection measures also being detailed in the same report. It’s hard to believe they will be too happy about that, especially considering the ‘volatile situation’ they seem to constantly be in, and the ‘impending terrorist threat’ that exists at all times now. Apparently.

An MoD source has been quoted saying “This is hugely embarrassing,” which is quite an understatement.

“Whoever is responsible will be sacked”, was not forthcoming.

KitGuru wonders how this latest security blunder ranks alongside the Government’s best work, including losing the personal information of 600,000 people on a laptop (don’t worry, it won’t happen again, the MoD now issues laptop bags that are not labelled ‘Laptop Contains Top Secret Information – Do Not Touch’).

The whole story could be consigned to the ‘materials suitable for Have I Got News For You’ team, but it follows in the shadow of the full weight of national security paranoia being thrown at an individual for joking about terroism on Twitter.

KitGuru says: No surprise that the public can be selectively held to a higher standard than Government officials when it comes to matters of national security – when it suits the suits.

Comment below or in the KitGuru forum.

Become a Patron!