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Apple prepares to block iPhone users from filming concerts

News just in from the interwibble indicated that Apple is in the process of instigating 1984-style controls on what you can do and when you can do it with an iPhone. Big brother is watching you – and preparing to zap you with evil infra-red rays. KitGuru steps into room 101 to see whether the rats are real.

Search Youtube for music and when you're not being completely upset by VEVO (society for people who enjoy Vegetables in Every aVailable Orifice ?) – most of the songs these days have been recorded at a concert of some kind.

KitGuru's not sure exactly what the copyright scenario is, but there must be a reason why the ‘album versions' tend to get deleted, while the phone cam ones are left in place. Maybe having fun and videoing what you are looking at isn't illegal yet.

Enter Apple.

Seeing how much fun people have watching themselves, and others, at concerts on Youtube seems to have upset Steve Jobs and his army of grey-shirted individuals.

The question is, how best to stop people enjoying the best experiences of their life?

Simple!

Enable the new iPhones with a suppression technology. Will it be an infra red ‘suppression signal' – aimed just above the audiences shoulders?  Will it be a specific combination of height-held and incoming audio level?  Or will Apple use tracking software so it knows you're inside?

Whatever detailed method emerges, then your Apple iPhone will know that you are enjoying yourself too much and it will turn off your ability to record the moment.

Apple customers enjoying their concert with their iPhones firmly in their pockets. Remember, we are individuals. Honest.

How sweet. Maybe the VEVO folks get together with the Apple hierarchy and drink pigs blood in celebration when they have one of these ‘let's prevent people having fun that they have not paid through the nose for'.

BTW: If you think we're joking, here's another take on the story from the UK's biggest daily newspaper.

STOP HAVING FUN. STOP MAKING VIDEOS. YOU MUST PAY. PAY MUCH MORE. Well, that's what we see

KitGuru says: If correct, then it shows a kind of arrogance on Apple's behalf – that they know you can't live without their product – so you will have to live without the ability to capture these special moments. Remember, a ‘wave of suppression' could also prevent you filming your friends having a good time in the venue – even if you were not trying to free-load on music. Nice touch Steve.

Comment below or in the KitGuru forums.

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6 comments

  1. I’ve been thinking about it and I can honestly say I have no idea why they’d do this. Can’t people learn from Sony’s mistakes without repeating them?

  2. Dear God. Lucky me, I’ve got an Android.

  3. @Francesco: Isn’t that what the humans said in i-Robot?

    :-p

  4. First rule of being an Apple user.

    1. Cult members never question the divine apple.

    Second rule of being an Apple user.

    2. Cult members never question the divine apple.

    The cult members are already suppressed and chained to the cults store’s.

    This latest Cult rule will just be looped back to Rule 1.
    1. Cult members never question the divine apple.

  5. Apple Stalinism in the most purest forms of all.

    Simply amazing that Apple with all of rubbish they manufacturing is still in existence.

  6. Come on, this is good news. Nothing to do with copyright, every concert and event now is ruined by morons holding up phones and blocking everyone’s view – the only way to get a view past the sea of phones is to hold your own phone up. Everyone filming just so they could say they’d ticked that box in the desperate hope that makes them appear cool. They don’t take in the experience, they ruin it for those around them, and all for a pathetic, shaky, grainy, tinny sounded little movie they show someone once and forget about. For god’s sake, enjoy the moment, savour the experience and buy a t-shirt if you’re so desperate to prove you were there. But anyone who films gigs on a phone deserves a slow and painful death.